transcendessencedotcom

Listening 

August 23 2012

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As flowers seek the sun, I listen every day

To hear the caring little whispers murmured everywhere –

Telling me of Love unlimited, unfailing, unrestrained;

I hear the message in the soft caressing summer breezes,

In the night cacophony of tree frogs and cicadas,

In the sibilance of lapping waves  against the shore

And rustling leaves that live and dance in zephyr swirls.

I listen in my heart and hear the Love that sings to me

Its melody of blessings and of gentle smiles,

Its canticle of joy and opportunity,

Its carol of abundance.

When I remember how to listen,

I am bathed in radiant Spirit warmth.

I become at one with All, and am enfolded

Into deepest peace and ecstasy.

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Reflection: 

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This is a poem about prayer.  Growing up, I always thought that prayer consisted of words — that prayer consisted of me talking.  After learning and practicing meditation, I began to learn that prayer really happens when I consciously experience the Divine.  Prayer is actually peace, love, bliss, peace.  I’ve learned to listen within and around me, and to know that I am praying — an ecstatic experience.

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Prayer Suggestions:

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1. In a calm, natural place, relax into deep, slow breathing, and as you begin to expand into Spirit space, close your eyes and focus on listening to the sounds around you, all of which are whispers of the Divine, freely available to all who take the time to listen and appreciate.  Feel the gratefulness that wells up in your heart.
2. Hear Spirit’s answers to your dilemmas.  Breathe slowly and deeply, relaxing gradually into the silence.  Silently, in the space within, form a question that is on your mind.  After asking the question, attune, in the silence, to the word that comes into your mind, or the feeling of turning toward or away that you feel in your body.  Don’t answer or dialogue.  Just stay attuned to your Inner Knowing which is the voice of Spirit.
3. Feel your connection with other beings in the world.  If you are blessed to have sleeping companions, two-legged or four-legged, lie quietly for a bit if you waken in the night or when you awake in the morning, and attune to the sounds of breathing nearby – the breath of Shared Life.  Feel and appreciate the love that this proximity represents.

Rev. Rosemary C. Hyde is co-minister of Unity Center of Peace in Chapel Hill NC.  As a minister, she focuses on  spiritual counseling, life coaching, and holistic healing.  In addition to being an Interfaith Minister, she is a trained Pastoral Counselor and a Certified Classical Homeopath.

                                      The Void

                                  April 14 2012 

Out there in the universe, she’s there –

My partner soul.

I know her love is steady; mine is too. .

The day feels empty as I sense the air around me –

Her energy’s not there.

Her smile, her touch, her humor and her words,

Her sprightly made up songs  — spontaneous and witty,

The interchange of love between us all – the dogs and her and me and other friends –

All these are absent.

It’s as if the world’s gone silent all around me,

As if I still see the motion and the color, but they’ve lost their glue —

The strands of sound and heart that animate and unify and give a solid texture to the passing time.

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We are being sculpted in this trial by distance.  I know we’ll find new strength and joy.

But In alone retreat, I’m unmoored;  I float in time;  I don’t feel like me.

In silence, I await release, return – homecoming.

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REFLECTION

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I am filled with gratitude that my beloved and  I often can enjoy pieces of our days and nights together.  Her prolonged absence – a two week class in Germany while I stay here – highlights the animation in  the times we are together. Then,  we benefit from deep sharing, humor, flashes of insight, and the mutual trust and treasuring that mark our love for each other.  This time, ticking by inexorable moment by unvarying second, will pass, like every moment.  I can only wait patiently in the silence of hope, and faith, and love.

My Robin

April 4 2012

She’s back!  I wondered if she’d come to visit me again.

I didn’t know that robins made themselves a home

To come back to when they nested. 

All winter, in her absence, I’ve thought of her when tending to “her” planted basket.

She was my houseguest, gracing the middle hanging planter on my porch,

Raising two nests of babies who grew up and left in awesome haste.    

I felt so happy, useful, linked to nature, as her landlord. 

Yesterday, I looked up, as has been my habit,

And there she was – her tail standing up above the basket’s rim. 

I feel so blessed and honored that she’s come back home

To raise her next family — my future grandbirds! 

 

Reflection

In preparation for a visit to our church by Tibetan monks who will create sand mandalas for 3 days, and then, on the fourth day, sweep them away and send them toward the sea,  I’ve been reflecting on the patterns of life.  All of life, it seems, consists of patterns revolving around centers; all of life is shaped like a mandala. A fried egg sunny side up is a perfect mandala. So is the rising sun, surrounded by its gradated colored rays. Or the pupil of an eye.  The cycle of the seasons is one;  the cycle of life is another – birth, growth, maturity, and death.  All of life, like mandalas drawn in colored sand, is fleeting, impermanent.  Joy resides within our recognizing old friends that appear within recurring cycles.  We can find deep peace in honoring, contemplating, and creating the mandalas in daily life.  The reappearance of my tenant robin as she restarts the cycle of creating and fostering new life gives me a mandala gift – a beautiful circle to enrich my life.  Thank you, Divine Spirit. Thank you, Sister Robin.   

 

“Why a memorial service now,”   you ask. “Ellen died in 2008.”

That, of course, is true, in earth-speak.  But Ellen, in spirit, remains very present and  active in the lives of those she loved.  One of the places where she led me was to attend One Spirit Interfaith Seminary in New York, to become an interfaith minister.  Our classes for this month have included writing memorial services, and who better for me to honor in my first memorial service than my beloved late partner, Ellen?

My relationship with Ellen was complete. She changed my life in many ways, including leading me to believe in the realm of Spirit. And, as one must do when one partner has moved to Spirit, I, the remaining one, have mourned and moved on. I am now happily married to Nancy, whom I love with my whole heart. My vision is on the present, and my hope lies in the future. The past is the past — done, and celebrated.  I hope those of you who knew and loved Ellen will celebrate with me that you experienced her brilliant love.  And I hope that those who didn’t have the pleasure of knowing Ellen in this life will nevertheless enjoy learning about her in the writings embedded in this “virtual memorial service.” 

Rosemary

 

 Service in Memory of Ellen Scheiner, M.D.

1932-2008

 

Introduction

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Today is not a special anniversary or calendar occasion.  But, like every other day, it’s an appropriate moment to celebrate Ellen’s gifts to us.   Ellen’s  legacy of love and awareness continue to bless  her friends and family every day.  We carry her with us in our hearts and in our spirits, as she continues, three plus years after her death, to light up our lives as we grow in the awareness she shared with us.  We were amazingly fortunate  to have known and loved her. 

This is a “virtual” memorial service, designed to be posted on a blog, so that together, yet in their own time and space,  her friends and family members can celebrate having had Ellen in our lives

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MEDITATIVE MOMENT

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I invite you to  join me in  the silence within us.  Relax and let your chair support you.  Slow your breathing, and deepen it.  Breathe in the love of God.  Breathe out all tension and anxiety.  Breathe in love.  Breathe out tension.  Feel yourself inside opening up to the Divine Source that we all share.  Feel the support and love that circulates in and through you like a beautiful  woodwind ensemble.  You hear the breath of God in the bright, yet mellow woodwind tones.  You feel the light’s warmth.  You smell the glorious fragrance of your favorite flowers.

 Ellen, whose life we celebrate today, said that she always heard  music in her head, no matter what was going on.  She could change the station at will, sometimes hearing rock, and other times a  symphony by Beethoven or Brahms.  She knew by heart every important piece of Renassance, Baroque, and classical music, and when a piece started on the radio, she could name it after the first three notes.  In your relaxation, join Ellen in listening to your favorite music on the station in your imagination.  Relax into its rhythm and its feelings.  Know that you and Ellen are enjoying this moment in unison, straddling the physical and the spirit worlds.   (Pause) 

Against this pleasing background, hear the words of Psalm 85 ringing out in your mind and your heart, as you  open your heart to love. 

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READING:  From Psalm 85

Listen to people in the silent chapel of your heart; and the Beloved will speak of peace to you, to the hidden saints, to all who turn their hearts to love. ..

Steadfast love and faithfulness will meet;

Righteousness and peace will embrace one another,

Wisdom will spring up from the ground,

And truth will look down from the sky.  Yes, the eternal Giver will grant what is good, and the lands will yield abundantly. 

Mercy and compassion are Love’s way; you will guide our footsteps on the path of peace as we recognize with open hearts that you are our peace.

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TESTIMONIALS:  REMEMBERING ELLEN:

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After Ellen’s death, many of her  friends and acquaintances testified eloquently to the impression she had made on them – from those who’d known her for only a few days or weeks, to lifelong friends.  Here are a few  of those testimonials, invoking again for us Ellen’s marvelous brain, her enormously loving heart, her strong desire to love and heal everyone, her courage in the face of disability and pain, and, not least, her spiritual triumph as she continued to seek – and as she found —  enlightenment : 

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From the contractor who remodeled the bathroom in the summer and fall of 2008: 

November 17, 2008.  Ellen had an energy about her that made her seem like a long lost, wise aunt. There was something about the attention that she gave you when you were speaking with her that made all the formalities, walls and insecurities, melt away. In the short time that I knew Ellen she demanded the best out of those around her, not in a forceful way, but in a way that made you want to be better at whatever it is that you do. I was fortunate to spend some time with Ellen in her final days. She was full of life, passionate, insightful, and caring. One of my fondest memories was a day when one of my employees installed a new kitchen faucet for her. She was so excited to try it out and was not quite sure how to operate it that as she turned to the plumber to ask him how it worked she pushed the spray button and sprayed him head to toe. Even though it was purely a mistake, I think she kept spraying him even after she realized it because she found it funny. She had a bit of that playful mischief in her 🙂 We must have laughed like giddy school children for an hour straight. My plumber knew her from only a few occasions. When I told him of her passing, his eyes welled up with tears. 
That was Ellen… Quick to the heart. Rest in Peace, you wonderful soul.  

Chris Zoubek (Chapel Hill, NC) 

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From a long-time friend: 

Ellen was one of the most joyful people I have ever known.  She loved loving, she loved music, she loved art and poetry, and she even loved being miserable.  She loved whatever  she could articulate and understand.  She was combative, competitive and brave. She turned her disability into a source of determination and pride.  She wanted to share her story.  After her retirement from Memorial Sloan Kettering, she wanted to share her pride as a lesbian and cancer survivor.  She found Rosemary.  She finally, for the last years of her life, was able to be happy, not only about surviving her misery, but about just being happy. 

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Pamela White Hadas

Albuquerque, NM

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From a friend who had started as Ellen’s personal assistant: 

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Within minutes of an introduction, I was sitting across from Ellen in the sunny kitchen, filling the tiny vitamin cells with weeks’ worth of medication and supplements and palliatives. Despite what must have been a heroic effort to feign disinterest in my progress, Ellen betrayed herself and her keen mind by interrupting me while I was in the midst of making a potential mistake.

“You’ve very diligent,” she said, fixing my eye with her gaze. She glanced down in the most subtly obvious of ways, tracing a path to the pill (which I just then saw to be redundant) in my hand. I palmed it as she looked back at my face.

I was only dimly aware that I was dealing with someone who had trained a host of medical care providers, both those in her charge and those for whom she was an impatient, but I did immediately sense that, well, the “game was on.” Ellen Scheiner was a different – stranger — creature than I had expected. She was fire and water and I would find it impossible to overestimate her.

Shane Wallace, Albuquerque NM

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POEMS:  REMEMBERING ELLEN, by Rosemary

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After Ellen died,unexpectedly, on November 5, 2008, I felt as though my soul had been  ripped in half.  She was my soulmate and my spiritual teacher.  Many of you will remember that I wrote hundreds of poems as I mourned, stricken, and then, finally, began to build  a new life on the other side of her death.  In the two following poems, written a few months after Ellen left the earth, I reflected on  what I had learned  from her, and also what many, many others had also  learned from knowing her.  Ellen’s  legacy was powerful and uplifting to many, because  she  loved us well and deeply. 

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Legacy of Loving,  January 13, 2009

Loving changes souls,

Leaves a legacy behind,

A challenge to live up to now —

Apart, alone.

What gifts did my Beloved  leave?

We’re rich, her heirs.

She taught us to enjoy the Now,

To spend time with friends,

To see how people were and give them leave to talk, 

To know always that this life was temporary– 

That truth lay beyond —

To bless pain and step aside to watch it pass,

To hug and kiss and love with all our hearts,

To smile, jumping up and down with glee like happy children.

 

As her soul-family, we now fan out to

Share her wealth with all we meet.

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Student  January 29 2009

How can I list all I learned with you, Beloved?

I take your lessons with me,

To share with others.

 

Compassionate caring:

Feeling with another’s feelings,

Understanding suffering and pain

And answering with love. 

 

Appreciative respect: 

Knowing the beauty of simplicity,

Learning to want less,

Respecting  burnished objects

And feeling their imbuing spirit.

 

Smiling enthusiasm:

Welcoming with open arms,

Telling inner truths

And blessing people. 

 

Steadfast courage:

Facing each moment  without cringing,

And learning from its challenge. 

 

I was still a student when you left –

I haven’t graduated yet.

I hope and pray for guidance to

Still find the way, as I walk on.

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Brief Eulogy: Ellen Then and Now

The few excerpts I cited above were taken from among dozens and dozens of memories that people sent to me after Ellen’s death – enough to fill a truly engrossing book. Ellen was  a strikingly powerful spirit, whose loving presence gripped everyone immediately upon meeting her. She imbued our house, as she had also done in her 14^th St. loft, with a loving, welcoming spirit so strong that people invented excuses to stop by and spend long periods basking in its comforting peace. Thanks to Ellen’s magnetism, our house became the ideal of home, complete with cookie jar and well-stocked fridge, that drew people from across town and across the country. I loved the constant stream of clients, visitors, workpeople, teachers, and colleagues, all of whom instantly became family the moment they crossed the threshold.  I’ll never forget finding an old friend of Ellen’s who had “stopped by” from Colorado, rummaging in all the kitchen cabinets. I asked if I could help her find something, and she replied, to my astonishment,  “Where’s your stash?”

Among Ellen’s friends were artists, nomads, world-renowned doctors, students, professors, playwrights, street people, prize-winning scientists and working people of all kind —  people who were hurting and came to her for healing just as often as people who simply  knew they loved Ellen and wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. 

Ellen had lived with an obvious disability, a paralyzed, disfigured  arm and hand, from birth. Amazingly, most people never noticed it, although she herself was intensely conscious of it, and felt a deep shame about it.  No one learned about her feelings, except, glancingly, in a couple of her poems.  She wrought the magic of doing everything so apparently  effortlessly with one hand that no one noticed she couldn’t use the other. It was only in her last months, as she let go into divine consciousness, that she forgave everyone in her life and also opened up to accept how she had felt all her life, that she started to share those feelings.

In one of her poems, she speaks eloquently about her sense of shame:

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Making Change at the Supermarket

She puts the change and the receipt in my left hand,

[The only one that works.]

What to do?

How to separate them

Without putting them down.

How to put the money in my wallet

Without spreading it on the counter

To pick it all up again,

With one hand.

 

Behind me on the line the others wait ,

Watching me will the coins into my purse.

Fearful lest I take too much time,

I silently order the bills to be in sequence,

I pray that they will align themselves easily,

So there is no need to sort them.

My will cajoles them into my wallet

Lest they notice, enraged,

That my little right arm is still, paralyzed, ashamed.

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Ellen Scheiner- Feb. 19, 1991

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Ellen wrote about 40 wonderful poems, many of them Haikus – a discipline she enjoyed tremendously.  She loved the opportunity they offered to say the world in 17 syllables – precise, perfect, and  prescient. 

I could write a book about the Ellen whose life we are celebrating today. I’ve probably written one in pieces, in fact.   I envision that I will finish and publish it in its right time.  

The most Important thing to tell about Ellen today, however, is the transcendent way in which she has continued to influence the lives of many who knew her. Immediately after her death, and for several months, she continued to speak to several of those who had been close to her.  Her creativity was – as always —  enormous.  She had always loved electronic media, and, characteristically, she found impossible ways to use her cell phone, Instant Messaging, and Facebook for ongoing individual communications.  She was wise , always including in her “to” list two or more people widely separated physically and not generally in touch with each other  — until we had both received a message obviously from Ellen in present time (i.e., after she’d died).  One of her young friends called me one day  and accused me of somehow messing with her computer, telling me to STOP WHATEVER I WAS DOING!!!!  I protested my innocence, and we had to conclude that the messages we’d both received were genuinely from  Ellen. I’d already concluded that I was receiving credible real time messages, as they arrived almost daily for several months.  Ellen was very very clear that —  despite having believed, as many Jews do, that after death that was all – the end – she had transitioned to a wonderful, beautiful spiritual place, and was more than doing well.  She was Kvelling!! 

She finally figured out how to communicate directly with me.  Intuitively, I came to know I could ask her anything, and she’d answer – and the messages, voiceless but couched in words, were not coming from my imagination.  They were totally clear and totally independent of me, although I perceived them mentally.  The feeling, at first, was akin to when I was pregnant, and for months before my daughter was born, she had the hiccups numerous times a day.  Those hiccups were in me, but they weren’t me or mine. The same has been true of Ellen’s communications.

 Interestingly, over time, I’ve received many messages, and they’ve often been startlingly relevant and immediate.  One, in January 2012 was, “Sell the house!!!!”  It was urgently urgent.  I had to pay attention.  The housing market was at rock bottom – in appearance it was a terrible time to sell.  But that house was, at over 3300 square feet, way too big for one person, and it was more expensive to maintain than I was able to handle easily.  Motivated by that message, I found a realtor, followed her explicit directions for preparing the house, got it on the market, found the perfect other house for me to move in to, received multiple  bids 3 days after my house  went on the market, and almost simultaneously made a bid on the new house the day it went on the market.  The old house sold for cash, at an elevated price (having incited a bidding war), three days before the cash for the new house that I was buying outright was due at the closing for the new house.  Within a total of 6 weeks, I sold one house for more than the asking price and bought a second house with cash from that sale.  It wasn’t possible.  But it happened.  It was wonderful –  exactly what I needed to have happen, although I hadn’t even acknowledged that yet before receiving the message to  “SELL THE HOUSE!!!!!”   

There have been these amazing, impossible events, and there has also been for me an incredible awakening to spirit, to the meaning and purpose of life, and  to the beauty and wonder of transitioning back into spirit.  I have also re-experienced being called to minister to others, to take sacred leadership in sharing the Divine with people who come under my care as they seek to know God.

 At the conclusion of my first year of seminary, we experienced a ceremony in which we called on Spirit to send us the one who would shepherd us toward ordination, and who would personify our call to ministry.  Ellen was my vision.  She came to me, surrounded by bright light. The name Ellen, from the Greek, “Ele,” means “bright light,” a fact she had told me while still in this life.  Her last name, Scheiner, from Yiddish “Scheyner”, also meant “Light.”  She was, in fact, doubly named for the Light. In my vision, she brought me into the light that surrounded her, and bestowed on me, as well, the Spirit Name “Light.”  That was given to me —  my essence as a spiritual leader, under Ellen’s tutelage.  I felt supremely honored, to have received directly from Ellen, my dear “Bubbele,” my calling and my mission, and to have been given her spirit as my mentor and guide. 

Along the way, Ellen told me she had selected my new partner, the person who would care for me in her place.  Sure enough, Nancy appeared, miraculously – Nancy who had lived in New York for 30 years, and whose life had shadowed Ellen’s – they even had many of  the same friends, although in this life Ellen and Nancy didn’t actually know each other (we’re sure they were more than once– perhaps often —  in the same places at the same times).

Today, I am delighted to celebrate and honor Ellen both as we knew her in the physical, and as she now, in spirit, continues to provide guidance and support to those she loved here, and – for all we know – to many others who did not meet her in this lifetime but nevertheless benefit from her loving attention. I know that all of us who loved her here are sharing with others in our lives what she taught us. What better testimonial can there be to a life exquisitely well lived?  In the words of poet Mary Oliver, Ellen lived deeply and fully.  She didn’t just spend her time on earth as a tourist. 

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POEM:  “When death comes,” by Mary Oliver

 (Recite with background piano music, live or recorded.  See website http://www.panhala.net/Archive/When_Death_Comes.html )

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When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

 

to buy me, and snaps his purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;

 

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

 

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering;
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

 

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

 

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

 

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,

 

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

 

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

 

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.

 

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

 

~ Mary Oliver ~

 

 

(New and Selected Poems, Volume I)

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I’d like to share with you  one more poem that describes beautifully the way that Ellen’s life led her back to her true home with Spirit, despite her belief that there was nothing more after physical death. In the last few months before Ellen died, everyone who saw her commented on how much improved in health she seemed.  She was almost glowing.  She became more and more powerful and strong.  We all felt this gathering strength in her, and mistook it for a miraculous physical cure.  Instead, it was a miraculous spiritual cure – she was morphing into pure spirit while still in our midst. 

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POEM:  “Good morning, Grandfather,” by JYOTI

 

 

Good morning, Grandfather.

I entered this life a ways back

and put skin on to walk two-legged on this Creation–

and what a glorious time it was.

 

It taught me about breath

and about sensing and feeling and caring through my heart.

And I walked on around that Red Road,

looking and trying to understand more

about the mystery and the secrets She holds.

 

And You spoke to me through the wind,

and You sang to me through the birds.

And you brought challenges forth so that

I might listen to the message

You bring me more sincerely.

And I kept walking down this road.

 

And I came ’round a bend

and the middle of that curve in the road

And I began to find a secret in the Spirit of my Self…

And still I walked on, sometimes blind and deaf,

and sometimes with pain.

But I fought with my fears and I embraced my unknowingness–

and still I walked on.

And my children and my family stood with me

and we came to know each other in those later years

more than we had before–

for some of our falseness had fallen away–

and still I walked on.

 

And I kept walking on this road towards You,

towards that other world that grew closer to me with each step.

And as the door of the Great Spirit world came closer

my fear loomed up inside sometimes…

 

But something called me forth–

the Morning Star rose with each day–

and my prayer became a centering–and still I walked on,

until I began to hear the Song of the Mother,

and Her arms embraced me so,

that instead of walking She carried me right to the door.

And as the door opened, I heard her Song,

And Her Song lifted me up,

so I could soar.

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from: Graceful Passages (CD and book set)

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Khaddish, the Jewish Prayer after a Death

Although Ellen studied and practiced Theravadan Buddhism for over 30 years, she was born, as she remained at heart, a Jew.  She was a rebellious Jew, because she had felt as a young child that she was unfairly discriminated against as a girl.  She wanted to go to temple as did the men, sitting in the main hall and openly worshipping the Divine.  Instead, she had to sit upstairs behind a curtain with the women. At the age of 7, she protested formally to her father, and said she no longer would go to Synagogue, until she could be with the men, accepted openly as a fully qualified worshipper.  Her father, apparently aware of the amazing spirit and mind of his daughter, officially dispensed her from going to Synagogue any more.  And she never did again on any regular basis.    However, to honor the spirit of this strong Jewish woman, it seems appropriate — as we approach the end of this memorial – to say  Khaddish, the Jewish prayer that reveres G_d in all His power.

 

KHADDISH 

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Exalted and hallowed be His great Name. (Congregation responds: “Amen.”)

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Throughout the world which He has created according to His Will. May He establish His kingship, bring forth His redemption and hasten the coming of His Moshiach. (Cong: “Amen.”)

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In your lifetime and in your days and in the lifetime of the entire House of Israel, sword, famine and death shall cease from us and from the entire Jewish nation, speedily and soon, and say, Amen.

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(Cong: “Amen. May His great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity, blessed.”)

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May His great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity. Blessed and praised, glorified, exalted and extolled, honored, adored and lauded be the Name of the Holy One, blessed be He. (Cong: “Amen.”)

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Beyond all the blessings, hymns, praises and consolations that are uttered in the world; and say, Amen. (Cong: “Amen.”)

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May there be abundant peace from heaven, and a good life for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen. (Cong: “Amen.”)

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He Who makes peace  in His heavens, may He make peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen. (Cong: “Amen.”)

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Recessional

Now, having praised the Divine in Ellen’s honor, let us leave this shared place of Spirit, singing within our minds and hearts the wonderful song, “Oh when the Saints go Marching in.”  In our singing, we feel gratitude for the saints who have blessed us in this life, including our beloved Ellen. 

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Oh, when the saints go marching in
Oh, when the saints go marching in
Lord how I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in

And when the sun begins to shine
And when the sun begins to shine
Lord, how I want to be in that number
When the sun begins to shine

Oh, when the trumpet sounds its call
Oh, when the trumpet sounds its call
Lord, how I want to be in that number
When the trumpet sounds its call

Oh, when the saints go marching in
Oh, when the saints go marching in
Lord how I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in

           

 

  

Christmas Feelings

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December 21 2011

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The music plays —  Santa, snow, and reindeer frolic through the notes.

I’m sitting in a fast food joint, knowing that I used to feel excited

When I heard these tunes;   what was I looking forward to?

Now, in older age, I’m  finding Christmas  songs  irrelevant.

Is that also true of Christmas?

In childhood, I could barely wait; the days dragged on forever before Christmas.

Then, in parenthood, it wasn’t about me;

 I yearned to give my family the magic I myself  had sought in youth. 

Now, in elderhood,  I see my family too have moved along. 

We’ve all  lost the  innocent belief that plenty, giving, gifts, and feasting would bring us bliss.

In those Christmas days of yore, the long awaited giving and receiving was always disappointing. 

The night of Christmas and the days that followed were just ordinary times. 

Nothing changed, in all those years of Christmases – nothing important. 

Except, I finally learned – it took me long enough! – that bliss comes from within;

That delight – the  happiness  for which I longed each year –

Is with me all the time, a gift of spirit right along with love, forgiving, and awareness. 

I don’t have to wait for one day of the year – I can find my bliss in silence in each moment. 

My Christmases have multiplied, and the one Star of my youth has expanded

Into firmaments and galaxies – the infinity of God. 

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Reflection

All through my youth, the Church carried on an endless campaign to “Put the Christ Back in Christmas.”   Along with many others, I mouthed the words, and thought them justified, sort of.  They also kind of took what seemed like the” fun” out of Christmas.  Manger scenes, Christmas pageants, and Christmas carols were charmingly seasonal, as were images of Santa, dreams of gifts rather than lumps of coal, a belief that Santa was All-Knowing and All-Giving,  holy cards and Christmas cards with the Virgin, the infant, the ox and the ass, and hosts of gorgeous angels clothed in white robes.  Legends abounded, and magic seemed to permeate the air as Christmas approached.  It was about finding happiness and peace and joy as the Christ child was born.  It was also about being good rather than evil, and being rewarded for our virtue with gifts of whatever we could think we wanted.

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 Today, I’m thinking that Santa was clearly a metaphor for God – all wise, all joyful,  all wonderful.  In a backward sort of way, my Christmas excitement about presents and wishes coming true really was a yearning for divine love and personhood.  Jesus manifested as a human to show us, through his example, how to perceive, trust, and receive the joyful abundance that comes from loving the Divine.  By becoming human, he accepted his inevitable human death.  But while daringly present in human form,  he showed us the  love and joy we are all meant to experience – all the time, not just one day of the year. As I learn more and more about gifts of God, Christmas  expands to include – potentially – all the days of every year.  What a wonderful, satisfying, and truly exciting gift!  Tinfoil, bright wrapping paper, and the suspense of waiting to see what’s inside each package are only pale suggestions of the gifts that Christmas is actually about. 

 

 

 

Giving and Receiving December 4 2011

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We live nearby, across the street, next door, across the fence.

We have children, parents, grandpas, grandkids.

We share stories –

His of teaching in a one-room school,

Mine of being once again a student, in my seventies,

His of coaching kids in soccer,

Hers of family coming back together for a yearly feast,

Theirs of Star Wars droids and aliens – all in Legos.

We exchange the gifts of witness and of sharing. 

He gives me plums across the fence.

I give him back my famous Plum cakes.

I care for her cats and clean their box.

She then visits mine and keeps them fed, when I’m away.

I write a note and stick it in their door –

The printer they had ordered got delivered to my porch.

We walk our dogs, crossing paths repeatedly;

We learn about each other’s lives,

While dogs sniff and bow, barking now and then, leashes twined.

He asks if I’m all right.  I’ve been away, and he has missed me.

They  climb down from the school bus —

I don’t know why in front of my house and not theirs —

I ask about their day; they smile at me; I marvel at the clothes kids wear to school these days.

Her car is there, but she seems gone.  I call.  She answers, hoarse.

She has the flu.  I wrap and take to her a plate of dinner, and she’s grateful.  I wish her speedy wellness.

We share this neighborhood – all ages, sizes, occupations.  We’re community – a special kind of family.

We bring a unique richness to each other – gifts of friendship and concern. 

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Reflection

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Neighborhoods are on my mind these days.  Many neighbors from many communities are talking, planning, coming together to learn how to become true neighborhoods — no longer just rows of anonymous houses.    After moving away from family and origins pursuing better jobs, coveting material goods, we’ve finally stopped and thought about the legacy we’ve lost.  Our families scattered, we long for connection.  We’re learning that when we unite to share, we can recreate a wonderful connection with those surrounding us.  We can become new extended families, filling in the blanks we made when we moved away.  It’s a wonderful source of joy and warmth. 

 

 

 

Communion November 4 2011

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She wanted me to see her mother and to talk with her.

Mom has worsened – failed terribly.

I was sitting in the deep blue chair,

At the foot of mother’s bed

In the nursing home.

The last time I saw the Mom, they had just brought her here,

Furnished her room with familiar pieces

And beloved photos –

Trying to recreate a sense of home.

Mom was anxious and alert and oh so gracious,

Greeting me, a stranger, with her brightest smile.

She was clearly fading, couldn’t read the clock,

And had forgotten the name of the white drink in her glass,

But kindly told me it was “stuff that’s sweet and good.”

Now, two short months later, Mom lies on the bed

And can no longer stay awake.

Yet she’s not sleeping – she’s rather in and out of consciousness.

Every time her daughter says “I love you,”

She rouses, beams, and sends her deep love back;

Her glowing smile bursts forth with pure, transcendent bliss.

The daughter  — grownup, in her 50s, climbs on the bed.

She says  “I want to lie in bed next to my Momma”

And she snuggles and embraces Mom,

Expressing  one last time the child within.

At the foot, I sit and contemplate the two –

Mother and daughter – One barely here, yet with a beatific smile on her face,

The other relaxing finally, just being, looking at her mom with peaceful love.

In the blue chair, I also sit serenely, strangely content,
communing quietly with them in the love.

The daughter had felt alone cocooned within her grief, but now we’re all together,

Sharing this protected moment;

No strangers –

With a host of angels, we are one with God, outside of time and space,

Spanning life and dying,

Simply being,  in the unity of love.

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Reflection

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This privileged moment outside of time happened during a pastoral visit this past week.  I was serving as the daughter’s chaplain, as she struggled through the difficult
challenges of her mother’s last weeks of life.  The mother had suffered for  years
with dementia. The daughter had agonized, desiring to love and care for her
mother in the best way she could.  It was hard and disappointing and lonely.  The
daughter had called and asked me to please visit the nursing home when she was
there so I’d see her mother again and talk with her, the daughter.  I was happy to do so.  As I sat there, sharing with the mother and daughter this intimate, loving moment, it struck me that none of us was an individual right then.  We were all
present beyond time and the limitations of our separate bodies and egos.  We just were,
together, participating in eternity.  We were spirits united in love.  I
was there as a witness and a companion – observing and validating a sacred moment .  I was doing my job by existing in a state of oneness with them.  No words were
necessary.  Our unity in spirit was enough.  I felt deeply grateful for
having been asked and allowed into that place of love.  Who was I?
I was simply spirit, as were we all.  Everything seemed normal and ordinary, though
strange and unaccustomed.  I remember the experience as a tableau, outside of time, a moment and an eternity simultaneously.

 

Love’s Power

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October 27 2011

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I’m learning about grief,

I’ve joined a  group of the bereaved – from months and years ago –

And still I weep, as do we all,  sitting in the circle, sharing;

The tears are welling from my eyes . 

What is this grief I feel? 

Where is this mourning springing from? 

As we talk, discussing how to use the energy of sadness,

A truth dawns.

My grief is foiled love. 

Love, the deepest force within me,

Propels me forward;  it cannot be plugged, or

Like a geyser it will devastate me from within.

It must flow forth, unite me with the universe. 

My heart’s fuel is love;   it drives me as I honor my beloved

By caring for all those I meet, and serving them. 

In loving them, I grow in strength and find serenity and peace. 

In serving many others, I still love the one I thought I’d lost.

In this way, the world for me turns right again, and grief reverts to exaltation –

The torrent of my love once more enfolds the Other;

All is well within my soul. 

 

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Reflection 

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This week, the grief group I’d joined was discussing how people who have suffered great losses  sometimes become  capable of carrying out great works of service for others, propelled by their grief and sense of devastation.  It’s a way to turn a negative into a great positive for others and, in the process, for oneself.   It’s one example of  how we always have choices about how to experience life’s losses and wins.  It seems to be a truth, that a great devastation can create an opportunity for great service. 

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There are many examples of people who have gone on from deep loss to admirable service to others.  This led me to meditate on the nature of grief, as I wondered how it can create such tremendous positive energy.  It seems that when we love someone deeply, our capacity to love increases exponentially.  Then, when the person goes away from us, we’re left with a huge surplus of love that has to go somewhere outside us toward others,  or cause us great internal pain. 

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 Perhaps this is God’s way of increasing the good circulating in the universe, by allowing us to experience the bliss of loving so that we must continue to love, or perish.  We are, after all, one with all, even though we perceive ourselves, in our bodies, as unique and separate.   

 

God’s Party
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October 21 2011
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Suddenly, the trees have put on party clothes!
We’re celebrating as the growing season ebbs away.
God’s like that, filled with joy and merriment,
Reveling with us and with the other godlike avatars –
With Zeus and Helen, Sulis and Andraste, Vishnu and Ganesh,
Spirits, deities, and goddesses.
When autumn blue skies reign and rainstorms blow,
We all drink fete and taste of jubilation.
We join God’s gala carnival
Before we slumber through the winter night
Cocooned and warm, waiting all around the hearth for spring to dawn.
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Reflection:
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I’ve always wondered why fall feels so festive, when it marks the end of growing and expanding, presaging muted winter rest. Thinking of it as a riot of not only color but partying – as God celebrating a successful year of world survival with all the allies of the divine in flesh or spirit – that makes sense, in a strange way. It’s at least fun to imagine such a party, knowing that Spirit wishes happiness for us in this life.

“The Car Goes Where the Eyes Go – The Art of Steering our Lives”
Rosemary C. Hyde, Ph.D.
Talk Presented at Unity Center of Peace, Sunday October 9 2011
I recently read a popular book because I thought it would be entertaining, and I was ready to be entertained. It’s ”The Art of Racing in the Rain,” by Garth Stein. I was actually attracted by the wonderful dog portrait on the cover! The book turned out to be the story of a fictional Formula One racing driver who has perfected the skill of winning races when it is raining. His incredibly spiritually aware dog is the narrator and commentator. The book was a lot more than entertaining—it was spiritually gripping.
Apparently, a muddy track for a race changes all the dynamics of racing – as an icy road changes our driving experience. This driver, having chosen to become the master of driving on a rainy track, eventually reaches the pinnacle of success and adulation as a driver, and is invited to lead the famed Ferrari Formula One team. His secret? He explains it in one sentence: “The Car goes where the eyes go.” The core discipline for him has been always keeping his eyes on where he wants the car to go, no matter how apparently disastrous a situation may appear. Drivers who are less disciplined about always looking to the goal might come out of a spin and crash into the wall, because in a crisis they start to think about their dilemma rather than their destination. It’s understandable! I generally do the same thing when I’m in pain or distress. For instance, a couple of weeks ago I was thinking about this while also wondering how I could stop thinking about the pain in my elbow – thinking about the pain more, of course, as I wondered… I find it hard not to think about fear, apprehension, and discomfort when I’m experiencing it.
I haven’t found Formula One racing especially fascinating, so I was surprised that I couldn’t stop reading this book. The story provides an eloquent example of an ordinary man bogged down in ordinary life sludge – family disagreements, career detours, long stretches of depression and despair, temptations to “settle” for what seemed to be the most easily attainable compromises. Through the grace of circumstances and friends, though – especially his tuned- in dog — he manages to muddle through, to focus enough on spiritual life fulfillment so that in the end he manifests the happiness and prosperity to which he has felt drawn from the start. The book was actually about the Law of Attraction, and how it works, in its often circuitous way, for ordinary folks and – yes! – also for dogs.
According to the Law of Attraction, what we focus on manifests. We surround ourselves with what we see as real. As we drive along on the often muddy track of life events, peering through the spattered windshield, where we focus the eyes of our heart determines where our life goes in its spiritual resonance.
 Jesus, who, by the way, is one of the great metaphysical teachers, referred often to the manifestation of this law. I always am amazed by how often Jesus referred in his teachings to the universal Laws that seemed like new discoveries to me when I started studying New Thought. For instance, Luke, (17) quotes Jesus: “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you. Nothing will be impossible for you”
 Wow! Every time I’ve read that, I’ve thought that obviously I don’t even know what Faith is! Nothing will be impossible for me? Hmmm…. Yet, Jesus demonstrated this truth many times in healing people, in conquering death, in walking on the sea, in feeding multitudes, and in other actions. He always referred to the Faith of the individual he was helping. AND He often told his disciples to do what he was doing. He told us, according to John (15) “ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.” Could he have spoken any more clearly? Faith – understanding that what we ask is already ours – is always needed. When we believe, we manifest.
The same message comes to us through other spiritual traditions. In fact, one of the most important realizations that comes when we study the major faith traditions is that all are tuned in to the same spiritual truths, even if expressed in different words and metaphors. For instance, in the first line of the Dhammapada, Buddha — like Jesus, but with no direct knowledge of Jesus – also spoke of the correlation between thought, faith, and reality. He said: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world.  All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”
Buddha and Jesus were talking about the same spiritual truth, using very similar words.
The Law of Attraction is often used as a formula for attracting material wealth of various kinds, and indeed, most of us are initially attracted to the Law of Attraction by imagined bling. . Maslow’s Hierarchy leading from physical goals through emotional satisfaction to spiritual awakening describes well our natural emotional and spiritual evolution. First, we must satisfy physical needs before we can enter the later stages of moral evolution. In fact, both Buddha and Jesus are talking about spiritual joy, serenity, and bliss; Material goods, despite their lure, teach us quickly that our Truth involves a more transcendent set of desires – that the only deep satisfaction comes with the peace that we find on the path to enlightenment.
Essentially, our inner life – the life of our soul – reflects the general resonance of our spiritual vision over time, sort of as an A1C blood test reflects what’s gone on with our blood sugar levels over a few months, or a chemical hair analysis reveals what minerals we’ve ingested over time, proving that indeed we are what we eat, as well as what we think. Similarly both our outer and inner lives reflect our average level of thought vibration over time.
We actually do vibrate. Our brain waves vibrate at different frequencies, at different times, ranging from the tizzy of fear and anxiety to our normal waking, busy beta rhythm through alpha relaxation, theta meditation, to delta near-coma. Meditation is where we find the bridge to spiritual bliss. When we are operating in fear, our brain waves oscillate at a frequency that makes us totally unable to perceive the frequency of spiritual truth. At those moments of fear and anxiety, all we can perceive is fear, and the Law of Attraction brings us more fear. The Law of Attraction doesn’t admonish us or warn us or judge us – it just echoes back to us what we are sending out. We could use a warning spirit similar to “Mother Nature” in the old margarine commercial. She stood there, saying, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!” For us, she needs to warn, “ It’s not good to stay in negative thoughts!”
In contrast to our fear vibrations, when we meditate, or when we relax into the experience of love, we are approaching the spiritual frequency of truth. So part of the skill of attracting the universal good that we desire resides in our ability to focus and resonate on a spiritual level. We accomplish this by shifting gears – into the four forward speeds of Gratitude, positive Expectation, Release, and Giving. These gears make our attraction -engines purr. Prayer is an excellent quick tool for shifting gears. I’ll share in a bit a prayer that helps me to move back into the kind of resonance I want to maintain.
In considering the Law of Attraction, learning to drive a vehicle has some parallels with learning to drive a life. In all lives, things happen; We must deal with unexpected developments from the outside. But we get to decide how we’ll steer around and through them.
Most of us in the last few days have thought about Steve Jobs. He’s a wonderful example of someone who, at least in his work life, manifested his desires, seemingly effortlessly – certainly way beyond most people’s success. Like the race car driver in the book, he remained focused on being who he was, no matter what might have driven him off course. He did not benefit from education or from growing up in a prosperous, well off family. An adopted kid who dropped out of college almost as soon as he started, he just knew what fascinated him. He started this off the wall, geeky company in his parents’ garage with his high school friend. How many people do that without even succeeding on the first lap? He built an amazingly successful company from which he managed to get fired before he was 30. He then picked up the pieces and formed two more companies that allowed him to stay in the race, continuing on his original path. Eventually, his first company bought out the second one, bringing him back into Apple, the original company, which he then led to becoming the most profitable company in the US. How? He just kept on being who he was, staying tuned in to his individual path and following it through all the twists, turns, disasters, and near-crashes of a lifetime. Jobs certainly changed the world in important ways. He wasn’t a saint, nor a spiritual leader nor a great philosopher. But, like the fictional race car driver of “Racing in the Rain,” he provided us with a wonderful example of someone who, at least in some ways, pretty much “maxed out” the law of attraction. He showed us that it can be done.
Like Formula One racing drivers, we all encounter rainy laps with slippery, muddy conditions that can obscure our view, make us swerve, or cause us to crash. We may actually experience a bunch of crashes, each of which can help us learn better how to steer. When we hold our intention and continue to follow the directions we receive from the Universe, we correct our course over and over, and keep moving toward the outcome on which we’ve fixed our minds and hearts.
Before we say our gear-shift prayer together, I invite you to pause in silence for a minute to identify and write down an important desire in your life, preferably one that has persisted since your youth. What did you admire or envy most in the lives of people you met in your young life? Or what did you find fascinating to do even as a young person that has remained a desire for you? These lifelong desires often represent our highest good. When you get a picture in your mind, express the vision in a single sentence, writing it on the prayer sheet and affirming that it is manifesting now. You can start with
“Divine love is _____________________. Or with “I am…” Keep it simple! You can change your mind as often as you like – you don’t have to say it all perfectly here!
I invite you to print out the following prayer and use it in your daily practice. As we pray together, we are practicing the art of racing in the rain. We are focusing beyond the mud, steering our lives toward a divine abundance of blessings. We are joyfully claiming the amazing abundance that is already ours.
In praying together, we are re-affirming to ourselves, to each other, and to the listening Universe our spirit’s great desire in this life. In reading the prayer aloud, when you come to the line about your heart’s desire, say aloud your sentence. Please join me in praying enthusiastically together:

I am awake and aware that I am perfectly lovable and loved by the Divine One who made me.
I am one with God-energy; I am open to love and to abundance.
I know, deep in my soul, that my Maker sees me, just as I am, as perfect, and that I deserve to be happy.
I accept that when Jesus said “Ask and You shall receive,” and “Nothing will be impossible for you” he was speaking a profound Truth about universal Law.
I know that I was made with a deep desire for love, beauty, peace, and happiness, in common with all of God’s creatures. In desiring those things I am fulfilling the Divine Plan. Therefore, according to plan, those desires are already mine; to experience them, I need only picture myself enjoying them. I am daily growing wiser, happier, and more serene as a container to hold all the good that is mine.
I use the tools of Gratitude for the many good things I already have in my life, proactive Giving of my time and assets, rock solid Expectation that God is good and I am an expression of God’s good, and wisdom to release what is no longer working for me so I have room to accept my greater good.
 

Through the love of the Universe, I am now _____________________________.
(this line is where you say your heart’s desire).
My heart’s desire is unfolding now.
 I feel and express my deep joy and satisfaction at the wonderful gifts that are now mine. I rejoice, and say, Thank you, God! Amen!!!!

Repeating this prayer frequently will, over time, help you shift gears and begin to enjoy the reality of the words you are saying. It will help you to stay focused on the goal, despite the mud that life throws your way. And so it is!